Being Taken Advantage Of…
Sometimes our kindness blinders cause us to fall into abusive situations before it’s too late to get out of them.
Sometimes when you “work with” a colleague, they forget that the operative preposition in the sentence is “with” and they change it to “for.” Working “with” means operating on equal ground with footing and ability that benefits the same goal.
This happens quite often to consultants. Read more…
There are some who bully colleagues into a state of stasis, where every decision and task becomes weighed down in the unnecessary grandstanding of their ego.
Some of those people aren’t even aware that they are suppressing their co-workers or not doing any constructive work- work that provides forward momentum. They are too busy grandstanding and being abusive, instead of actually doing any work. Sometimes they are just too used to operating a certain way, they don’t recognize a new, faster, or constructive way, even if it’s waking them up each morning blaring a horn in their ear.
Some are aware though, and those are the ones you have to safeguard yourself against, safeguard against their manipulation. If they are aware of what they are doing, that means they are doing it with intention. Don’t stick around to discover what those intentions are.
If time were a luxury all could afford, none would have need for a job.
Time is not a luxury. Those aforementioned types are aware of this, some are selfish with time. Having no time to them means they can’t get a manicure or go out drinking – whereas no time for someone like you may mean: you can’t visit your dying parent in the hospital and haven’t eaten a lunch away from your desk in over a year.
Identify the type.
Safeguard yourself from them, even if it means finding a new job, colleague or partner.
No one has time for succubus and incubus stealing the parts of your better mind or creative soul while constantly beating you down. To stick around and prove anything to them is a complete waste of time, since their ultimate goal is to cause injury to you. No matter what you do, do not engage.
It’s okay to be stern with them. It’s okay to say “no,” and it’s okay to be a little bit mean – only a little bit . Don’t change your kind self to stoop to their meaner lower level. Remember: these people are bullies and they will stop at nothing to take advantage of your intelligence, skills, and kindness. -And they will manipulate situations to accuse any failings on a project based on their perception of your flaws and what ever they may perceive as your weaknesses.
In most situations it helps when you have a higher I.Q. and E.Q., but even with those, sometimes our kindness blinders cause us to fall into these corrosive work relationships before it’s too late to get out of them. Don’t beat yourself up over making this mistake, just walk away from it, and clean yourself off. –And if you must fight your way out, put on your gloves and be firm. Do only the fighting that is necessary for your safety’s sake and walk away.
Tomorrow is another day!